Thursday, June 16, 2005

How to please a Priest

originaly posted by Laena

-Please don't get the aggro off me. I like it when the baddies beat on me, I swear! I have 3000HP, and I can take the beating MUCH better than the Paladin/Warrior/Rogue. After all, I can heal myself, so I have a nearly endless supply of HP. If I die,it's my fault, ALWAYS. I just didn't heal myself fast enough. My favorite thing to do in an instance when our oh-so-talented rogue pulls 6 mobs is to shield myself, get beat on by the 5 mobs that aggroed me when I healed that awesome rogue and hold all 5 of them off while the other 4 party members beat on the one mob that is not on me. Yep! Love it!

-Casters don't need loot! Nope! Bet you didn't know that, either. We don't need armor... we don't get hit. We don't need weapons! We cast! We don't need quest items because the rewards are usually armor, and since we don't need armor, we don't quest. So by all means, melee classes, make sure you loot those kills the instant they fall and NEVER let a caster get the chance to get to the corpse. WE DON'T NEED TO LOOT.

-Priests aren't main healers... Paladins are! That's right pallies... the instant you notice a health bar start to drop, YOU should be casting your heals. I bet that priest didn't even notice anyway. I never start casting a heal only to have a pallies heal go off an instant before mine and I just wasted my mana. We're just back-up healers, to be called upon only by a paladin, who is out of mana and is down to a perilous 80% health. This calling always should come in the form of "HEAL ME PRIEST". The demanding tone, self-righteous attitude, all caps and title of "Priest" are all necessary, as we are just priests, and won't understand you otherwise. We're not used to healing and really do need paladins to hold our hands through everything.

-If any member of your group dies, it's always the priest's fault. ALWAYS. If you pulled eight lvl 60 Elite mobs and even one of your party members dies in the fray, it's the priests fault, not yours. If you are a hunter, and your pet dies, no matter how low everyones health bar is, it's the priest's fault for not healing your pet. Your pet is your own personal tank, so it clearly takes precedence over the members of the party who are actual people. Also, you should NEVER heal your own pet... not even when the priest's mana is completely gone. She should have a mana pot up and ready to go JUST FOR YOUR PET.

-When grouped for an instance, always make sure you run into an instance while the priest is still on the griffon flying to you. Nevermind that there tend to be numerous elite mobs hanging around outside instances... the priest won't need your help to get in. After all, she has that endless supply of HP at her disposal from her heals. If, on the off chance that the priest does die on her way in, be sure to mock her.

-Warlocks! You guys are so awesome with your soulstone ressurection! You should never put that on the priest. We are the last person you should care about living or dying in a group. Put it on yourself or the rogue always, k?

-When looking for a priest for your group, always do a /who priest and just start sending random, unintelligible whispers to anyone at or above the level range you're looking for. Make sure you never do any of the following: Introduce yourself, say please, speak in a complete sentence, use real words. Also, don't bother ASKING them to join you. You must DEMAND it. A great example is "come 2 BRD mah grp needs u". We're priests! We're giving by our very nature, and appreciate being treated as your own personal heal monkeys. This is especially effective if you've never even spoken to the priest in question before.
WoW General Discussion -: "3620593"


Anonymous said...

You guys consistently crack me up!



Kaeseki said...

true dat! i'm a lvl 36 shadow priest on pvp server. i pvp'd a warlock, let me just say how much i love pets and imps and other whack backup that these players need. don't need some she-bat blowin kisses at me when i'm tryin to melt faces.