Thursday, May 05, 2005

Naughty Priest! ... Bad Paladin!

I was a naughty little priestess last night in UBRS. I tried not to be, but I just couldn't help myself. I died many times, but it was worth it to teach a few principles...

I have a right to be a little mischevious and "snarky" sometimes too right? I died just as much as they did... Oh well! Enough rationalization!

Here are a few tips for certain warriors and paladins who shall remain nameless.

For warriors:
* If you have a macro that says "/me calls out for healing!"... I'll let your hp degrade until the macro kicks just on principle, then I'll "/me calls out for dps!". I'll make a game of it and giggle each time. So will other priests.
* If my health bar is lower than yours, you'd better drink a health potion - because no heals are coming. I might still make time to call out for dps...
* When I say "Help! On me!", your correct response is not to ask for healing.
* If you call out for healing after I've died first... Don't be surprised if I let you die first on the next fight and then call out for you to do dps.
* If you haven't died yet and you ask "are you healing?" I'm going to answer with "are you dead?"... and then I'm going to start letting you die.
* Just because you can't pull correctly and die 1 second after I shield you doesn't mean it's my fault you died. Flash heal takes 1.5 seconds to cast. The 4 dragonkin and 2 elite orcs you mispulled are going to kill you. It's that simple.
* Asking for Fortitude before it's expired and while I'm drinking, then rushing into battle right after - to me, that means you don't expect healing.
* If all 3 priests in the party are telling you something, perhaps you should listen.

For paladins:
* Paladins have a nice buff called "Blessing of Salvation", but it only lasts FIVE minutes. So if 30 minutes later you still haven't put it on me, heehee... No heals for you!
* Paladins can heal... I know! Most paladins don't know that either, but seriously - it's true!
* Paladins can dispel... I know! Most paladins don't know that either, but seriously - it's true!
* Paladins can shield... I know! Most paladins don't know that either, but seriously - it's true! Priests find it odd to have to shield a mana-full paladin, then flash heal them back up...
* Paladins can use first-aid... I know! Most paladins don't know that either, but seriously - it's true!
* Paladins can drink water... I know! Priests drink before fights, you probably would to... if you were using your mana at all.
* That's ok, why would anyone expect a healer to have ct_raidassist installed after they've been 60 for over a month? I'll report for you.
* Can I get salvation please?
* Pulling is best done in ways other than running up to a mob and whacking on it. That's called "Runningup"
* A paladin saying "dispel me" is like a priest saying "fort me"
* If your mana bar is higher than your health bar, find your heal button - it's probably in your spellbook, not your actionbar.
* Can I get salvation please?
* If you are midfight with 1/8 health and a full mana bar, then you are a bad paladin. Bad paladin! Bad paladin!
* If I have to hit fade right after the fight starts, that means someone else made a mistake... probably you!
* If I die while trying to hit fade, please don't ask for healing. Also, I need salvation put on me *before* I'm, it wasn't still on. that was 30 minutes ago.
* If you die with a full mana bar, I'm laughing first, laughing second, making fun of you third, rezzing fourth, making fun again fifth, secretly hoping you'll do it again sixth.
* If you let the priests die and need to rez the party after a wipe - rez the priests first. Also - warriors and rogues can't rez others, so maybe rez other rezzers first.
* If you end a fight with a mana bar higher than when the fight started - then you are lazy and I'm going to train mobs on you.
* Consecration would help with that pesky "3 mobs on priest, 1 mob on paladin" problem we are having.
* No... You can't get Prayer of Fortitude just for yourself. Be glad you a get regular fort after letting yourself die so much!
* Can I get salvation please? I'm tired of asking. It's been twenty minutes and still no salvation.
* No, that's blessing of wisdom, I asked for salvation. after dying three times while you tried to main-tank the main-tank's mob, I'd really prefer salvation.
* To off-tank, it's necessary to attack something *other* than what the main tank is attacking. The term "off" is the keyword there.
* I'll stop using fear in instances when I stop dying first. Yes I did it again, I was dying first again...
* Salvation... finally - thanks!
* During a long fight, it helps if you heal others a little too, it helps keep my aggro down and my mana up. I realize healing is demeaning to you, but putting up with bad paladins is the same to me.
* You may like pulling directly after a long fight, but I like a little time to drink. Our mana bars are a little different - mine goes down during fights!
* Can I get salvation again?
* Yeah... That's tough having to pay attention to other people's buffs, health, and mana bars. Priests learned it by level 20 though and we are in UBRS... what level are you?
* No, it's not my problem to figure out how to keep 5 minute buffs on people. Plenty of paladins do it, if *you* can't, then you are an... well... it's a big word with five letters and everything, you might not understand.
* *Please* can I get salvation again?
* Please? Salvation?
* Yes, I know you died. You were at full mana, I had no salvation, and I died before you did. I realize you are unable to watch the buffs and health of others, but can you not see your own?
* No you can't get a greater heal after your rez. Try bandages, or food, or leaving me alone while I'm drinking.
* That was a bad pull, but everyone lived, and without salvation - I kept you alive - with your full mana bar and everything!
* Salvation?
* ...
* Please?
* ....
* Thank you!

Bad paladins make priests irritable.
Irritated priests let people die.
People dying makes paladins go "omg heal!"
Paladins going "omg heal!" makes priests go "Yes please! I'd love it if you did. Also dispel! Oh, and did you find the salvation button yet?"

Warrior calls out for healing!
Priest calls out for dps!
Paladin with full mana has died.

Heehee... I loved watching that paladin die... I'm ashamed to admit it, but it's true.
Friendship Trust Honor Teamwork Skill - 4tw
WoW General Discussion -: "2983534"

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